Stand clear. I'm Master Chief Petty Officer John-117, but you can call me Master Chief. I'm a cybernetically enhanced super-soldier that survived the SPARTAN-II project, but all you need to know is I can kill you in the world of Halo any way I please. My MA5C Individual Combat Weapon System? Ready. A BR55HB SR Battle Rifle with frag grenades? Locked and loaded. How about plasma grenades? Or my hands? Either way, it'll be quick and painless. I also have a sexy A.I. friend, Cortana, who tells me everything I need to know to do my ass kicking. Sure, I always wear this helmet, but don't get it twisted, underneath I'm one sexy super soldier. And yes, I'm also cybernetically enhanced for the bedroom. Wake me, when you need me.
This. Is. MY BIOOOOO!!! I am the Great King Leonidas. Hero-king of Sparta, the 17th of the Agiad line, son of King Anaxandridas II. You can come at me with black powder bombs, war-beasts and arrows that blot out the sun, but dying in battle is the greatest honor, so bring it on! Although, to be honest, I probably could have done things differently. Could I have been nicer to Ephialtes the hunchback so he didn't turn on me and ruin my plan to defeat Xerxes? Sure, but that's not really my style. I'm more of a "kick-a-guy-in-a-hole-to-start-a-war" sort of guy. Could I have worn a bit more armor? Yeah, but then nobody could see my sexy abs while they're trying to kill me. I just hope my son, Pleistarchus, can avenge me and live through his battles.