Oh yeah, I'm the king, baby. The king of rock n' roll, ya dig? I started recordin' at Sun Records in Memphis Tennesee in 1954 because they wanted somebody to bring black folk music to white folks. And that was me, baby. The king! Uh-huh. Ma first song was "That's Al Right," and y'all better believe it sold almost 20,000 copies! In 1956 I was so sexy they wouldn't even show me shakin' ma hips on "The Milton Berle Show." I was too hot for TV, a real hunka hunka burnin' love. They called me Elvis the pelvis. Then I went into military service and served my country. When I finished I went to Hollywood and was starrin' in movies, singin' and dancin' in Hawaii and Vegas, making the ladies go wild! Then I had a little girl who eventually married Michael Jackson. I started hanging around the house eatin' peanut butter, banana and bacon sandwiches, drinking booze and poppin' lots a pills. Yup, I ballooned up to a nasty two hundred and fifty pounds and at age 42 I died right there on the toilet in my Graceland home in good ol' Memphis Tennessee. But I died the king, baby. The king of rock n' roll!
WOOO! I'm Michael Jackson, the eighth of ten children. Ha, UH! Come on girl! (I just danced to the left then spun around!) When I was ten years old I sang my heart out for the Jackson Five while dad beat the crap out of me, but I was a star! Mamma Say Mamma Saw Mamaco Saw! Can you believe it, girl? You gotta be as talented as me to get away with being this weird. HUH! Don't stop 'till ya get enough, huh! I spun again and tipped my hat and strecthed out my sparkly gloved hand.) I had a pet chimp named bubbles and a creepy obsession with Shirley Temple, but my moonwalk dance was out of this world. Yeow! (I moonwalked back and forth!) I also got my hair lit on fire during a Pepsi commercial, but I co-wrote "We Are The World" which made millions for charity. So Beat It! OHH!! (I hoped up in the air.) I got accused of sexual abuse a whole bunch, but I'm in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame twice, once for the Jackson Five and once as a solo artist. My 1982 album Thriller is still the best selling album of all time even though I bleached my skin and wore a surgeon's mask around. UGH! (I just grabbed my crotch!) I was married to Lisa Marie Presley and a dermatologist, Debbie Rowe, I have three children: Prince Michael Jackson I, Paris Michael Katherine Jackson and Prince Michael Jackson II AKA Blanket, whom I hung out of a hotel window. Ugh, I'm a smooth criminal. I may have died at 50 from an overdose of anesthesia, but I'm the world's best selling male pop artist! Suck on that Bieber! WOOOOOO!!!! (I just stood in the wind, danced around, then jumped on a car, smashed it's windows out and grabbed my crotch again!) WOOOOO!!!